Leading with Authenticity: Dani D’Amico of McKinsey & Company
Photo courtesy of Dani D'Amico
Dani D’Amico is a Partner in the New York office at McKinsey & Company, a global management consulting firm. She serves leading financial institutions using her expertise across technology, capital markets, and banking. Dani is a major proponent of diversity, equity, and inclusion at McKinsey, where she leads Equal, the firm’s LGBTQ+ ERG. In her interview with Love to All Project, Dani discusses her journey to McKinsey, LGBTQ+ visibility in the corporate world, and her experiences navigating life as a working mother.
Could you please introduce yourself and your role at McKinsey and Company?
My name is Dani D’Amico. I am a partner in the New York office at McKinsey, and I'm part of the banking practice. I serve financial institutions across a range of topics, but with a special focus on investment banking, capital markets, and how those institution face the market environment, from a growth strategy perspective to managing the regulatory interactions as well as managing their financial resources. That's kind of my main role, as I lead the intersection between capital markets and risk. In addition to that, I am also significantly involved in our diversity program focused on the LGBTQ+ experience, our own ERG we call Equal. Within that, I created a subgroup called Transform, which aims to improve the experience of our trans and non-binary community, as well as parents of trans and non-binary kids.
That’s amazing work you're doing, Dani.
Passion is really important, especially from a sense of belonging, of knowing there are other like-minded individuals within the firm. I think it is a group for information sharing, for knowing that others that you're not on your own, and that you have the resources and know who to contact if you have questions.
Can you tell us a bit about your career path and what led you to become a consultant?
I grew up at a time where if you had any slight inclination mathematically, you'd go into engineering. So, I did engineering school, and I always had the more analytical mindset. Thereafter, it was kind of like a thing at my school; they said, “hey, consulting is cool, and you get to do lots of different things.” The idea that, as a consultant, I will do different things all the time, really appealed to me. It is a perfect job for me, because I get chronically bored about stuff. The kind of new projects, new challenges was always very appealing to me. The learning curve in consulting is always incredibly steep; by the time the curve flattens out, you move on to the next project. I started out doing a lot more technical technology consulting as a coder, using languages like C++. Eventually, I focused on banking and capital markets. I always found these topics to be more complex, dealing with clients that are fascinating and interesting. I always tell people that in consulting, you never know what product or topic you're going to work on, your teammates, your clients, and where project is going to be located. If you find that exciting, which I do, it's a really great career.
Why did the financial services and risk management industry specifically appeal to you?
I think as most people back into something, you meander through different paths in your career, discovering that some things are more interesting than others. I found that I always strive to work with smart people. As I went through my career, there’s been an incredible amount of talent in the firms I've worked with. I found that as soon as I would engage with clients in investment banking and capital markets, they turn out to be an incredibly smart and talented lot. I find that kind of connection invigorating and exciting. So, this kind of problem solving, finding solutions to complex problems with talented individual is really where I thrive, and I found that in banking.
Let's shift to diversity, equity and inclusion. Can you share how your experience as a transgender woman has influenced your career?
It’s clear how it affected the first part of my career: it was completely shut down. I developed a lot of mechanisms to shut it down, because I was deeply, deeply closeted for a long time. When I figured out internally that my way to survive and grow professionally would be to keep my identity completely sealed from anybody else in the world. I learned to stay in the middle lane, only stick out for being good at what you do, and don't put anything about you on the table. That kind of life really defined the first part of my career. But the caveat when you're living like this is that it's very hard to surgically shut off parts of yourself and not others.
Eventually, I found that the defining moment for me was coming out, being authentic, and redefining myself in the workplace. Now, I see myself being my true, authentic self, coming into work with all of me. Before, I couldn’t do a lot of things that I wanted to because I was very buttoned up. Today, I bring a lot more of my emotional self to work. And that impacts a lot of stuff, from the way I interact with my colleagues to the way that I ask questions; I speak out when it’s necessary, as I'm not afraid to open my mouth. As organizations are made with people, there's a subset of people that step up and raise their hand to say, “hey, things need to change, and I'll help change it.” I think that's probably been a defining thing for me, to always be the kind of person that raises my hand to say, “you know, we got to do better here.”
As an example, when I joined McKinsey, I hated the name of the LGBTQ+ ERG, which had been alive for 30+ years. Within a month or two of joining the NY office, I spoke to so many people, “do you like our name because I don't, I don't think it's inclusive at all.” Six months later, after so much work, surveys, speaking to a ton of people, workshops, and leadership meetings, we came up with the current name, Equal. I think it’s a lot more inclusive. So many people were skeptical towards me at first, saying they’ve tried this name before and it's never worked. I just took note and did not take no for an answer. I'm very happy that that we move towards something that's better, as I like to challenge the status quo. It was the right time to do it and people followed suit.
“I speak out when it’s necessary, as I'm not afraid to open my mouth. As organizations are made with people, there's a subset of people that step up and raise their hand to say, ‘hey, things need to change, and I'll help change it.’”
How have these experiences influenced your leadership style?
I’ll give you two parts to my answer. I'd like to think that I was an inclusive leader before my transition. I continue to be an inclusive leader, but probably more so. Before, I was blindsided about how others treat women and kinds of diverse colleagues. I was not part of that club, either of those clubs. Indeed, now I'm painfully aware as I’ve been on the receiving end, leading to an appreciation for varying perspectives. As a leader, I turn up for everyone. For example, if I’m working with someone who's more introverted on a project and I don't hear them speak at an internal meeting, I might ask, “hey, what are your thoughts? We haven't heard from you.” To me, giving a platform to different voices is the key to inclusive leadership
The second part to my answer is the realization that you need to step up and be the best version of yourself all the time. As I work in investment banking, many of my clients are senior investment bankers or heads of trading divisions. There's not a ton of diversity there. I’m always aware of how I speak about things to help overcome any potential biases that people have. So, I always need to turn up as a leader, be really effective and to the point, and provide valuable insights. My strive for brilliance and excellence is a never-ending journey because I always need to be one step ahead.
Photo courtesy of Dani D'Amico
“As a leader, I turn up for everyone.”
Let’s talk a bit about mentorship. As you know, Love to All Project’s main mission is to provide mentorship to LGBTQ+ youth. How has mentorship played a role in your own life and professional development?
I view my professional career pre-transition and post-transition, because I was part of two very different universes and almost two ends of the spectrum. Previously, I had a pretty conventional career with the kind of sponsorship and mentorship I enjoyed as being part of the mainstream club. I'm a trans lesbian right now, which means that pre-transition, I was a straight male. I was originally at the conforming end, and now I'm kind of like on the opposite side of the spectrum. It made me realize how in every corporate environment, there will be bias in mentoring, especially with people that don't necessarily look like you. But still, most mentors in these environments are very talented, and you can still benefit from that level of mentorship and everything that comes with it.
After transitioning, I have experienced some leaders who are hugely appreciative of my experience and my authenticity and provide a lot of support and create a lot of opportunities for me. I’m also a strong sponsor, advocate, and mentor to colleagues. I will give sponsorship and opportunities any day. When their skill set is right, I will always bring them to the projects that I'm staffing or the brand I'm creating. I’m always going to pay a lot of attention to bringing a diverse group of people to my projects. I’m staffing a project right now, and I want to have a balanced and diverse team of qualified colleagues. I’m excited to give opportunities and offer my mentorship.
Dani, I think you read my mind. How do you approach mentoring young professionals, particularly those from the LGBTQ+ community?
Mentorship is a very enjoyable and easy part of my role. I realized that as a partner, as a senior at the firm, one of the most precious thing I have to offer is time. It's hard to get on my calendar. I think that offering my time and my support means two things. One, when people get time with somebody senior and receive advice, coaching, and guidance they can discover huge value where otherwise they may not have. Two, I like to break barriers; I think demystifying my status as a partner and how approachable partners are is incredibly important.
The other thing is that I make a point of not taking myself too seriously. I know that a lot of colleagues, a lot of senior people in the industry, feel that because of our title, they're like, super important or whatever. For me, it's important to speak to young professionals and give them access to my experiences and mentorship, as I have, you know, over 20 years more industry experience than them.
What advice would you give to young LGBTQ individuals aspiring to enter consulting, especially those who are transgender or non-binary?
The first piece of advice is that there are significant differences between firms, in how they approach LGBTQ+ individuals. Think of any two big firms whose names you can swap, or any two big investment banks, two big beverage companies, or hotels – they're not alike. In choosing a company, it’s important to see how diverse individuals in the organization have experienced the process. Take that as an indication of what your experience will likely be like.
I’ve participated in many diversity programs, like Out 4 Undergrad. See which companies are turning up and who from those companies are turning up. If you don't see people that look like you, if you don't see their excitement, and they don't have answers to your questions, it will probably be indicative of your experience. This is because of two reasons. One is access. When you join McKinsey, for example, and gain access to somebody like me or other partners and senior people, there's a lot of access. Two, there are individuals that spend significant effort to improve things, to break down biases, to advance medical benefits. In such environments, your experience is going to be better. Companies are different, not all firms are on the same page.
Colorful logos during pride month have very little correlation with how a company really approaches things at all. If we are speaking directly to the trans and non-binary community, there are very significant differences in levels of medical benefits across organizations, or benefits in general offered to employees. Many of these benefits are not advertised, and won’t come up with a Google search. You discover important aspects of organizations by questioning recruiters, having coffee chats, and digging deeper.
Dani, when you're doing all of this important work, how do you balance your professional and personal responsibilities, especially as a parent?
Again, I don't take myself too seriously. People say, “oh, I'm so busy, I don't have time to do stuff.” I think that people will always find time to do the stuff they want to do. If you're passionate about something, you have to find the time and just become more efficient. It’s incredibly important to learn what you can do to become more efficient while increasing your impact.
Make no mistake, life is hectic, but there's always time to do stuff. Here’s a slice of my day: it started at 6:00 AM on calls. From 6:45 to 8:00 AM, I was getting my kids ready to go to school and drop them off, preparing breakfast for them and stuff. And at 8:00 AM, I was back on calls. It’s now 11:30 AM, and I've done two loads of laundry – that's kind of my day so far. As busy as things get, you get through it by doing the stuff that you like doing and doing it with a smile. I love parenting my kids. Being a parent and mom to my kids, I love what I do. And I love all the advocacy work and I do it with a smile.
Photo courtesy of Dani D'Amico
“If you're passionate about something, you have to find the time and just become more efficient. It’s incredibly important to learn what you can do to become more efficient while increasing your impact.”
Lastly, what messages would you give to your 10-year-old self and your 20-year-old self?
I always find this question tricky to answer because it has to be time bound. As in, if my 10-year- old self or 20-year-old self were 10 or 20 years old today, it would be very different advice than what I would give to myself when I was growing up. You know, I grew up in Florence, Italy at a time when being trans was not really a thing. At that time, the right thing for me to do was to put everything inside and lock it down, as that was necessary for my survival.
I'm also very conscious about how gender expression and transitioning has an impact on the world around us and how the world sees us. It was rough as a closeted trans individual in the buttoned up corporate world. Unfortunately, whether we like to admit it or not, it’s incredibly uncomfortable. So, when I was starting my career, I learned how to fit in, blend in, look right, and, you know, navigate a world when you’re rough around the edges.
My kid is 11 now. I went to a talk yesterday that was a trans and non-binary summit. I came home with a book about the history of queer people. This morning at breakfast, I was looking at it with my kid and we were laughing about it, it’s so normalized now. Just be yourself. To my 10-year-old or 20-year-old self, be you. You will be ok. Your parents are ok. You will find a community that will support you. If you build enough strength to find your people, you will find them.
Wow, I wish I had a parent like you growing up!
Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom and dad. I wish I had parents like myself, that asked questions. And made things like gender and identity not a big deal. Let me finish with an anecdote: my son, a couple weeks ago, came out to me. He was like, “I really need to speak to you. I’m sorry to say, but I’m straight.” He came out as straight. He was joking, tongue in cheek, but it’s funny how in this day and age in Brooklyn, if you’re not someone who’s on the spectrum of LGBTQ+, you’re not cool enough. It’s amazing how far we’ve come as a community.