Emily Tressa: The Digital Age of Advocacy
Photo Courtesy of Emily Tressa
At 18 years old, Emily Tressa is a young and powerful voice fighting for trans rights. She was one of the youngest patients to ever receive gender reassignment surgery. Utilizing her social media platforms, Tressa has turned into a role model and informant for so many who are seeking to understand what it means to be a trans woman as well as how they can find themselves in today’s world.
LTA: Tell us about your journey navigating your LGBTQ+ identity.
My entire life, ever since I could express myself, I’ve always known that I was a girl. I am transgender, so I was born biologically male. However, since the age of three or four, I've always just gravitated more towards feminine things. I just knew what I wanted, what I liked and who I was. I've always been very clear about that to my family and friends. My early childhood was really difficult for me because I didn't really understand that it was okay that I felt that way. I thought I was the only person who was trans (I didn't even know being trans was a thing). It was actually my mom who showed me the Jazz Jennings - Barbara Walker special, and when I saw that, it just opened up my whole entire world. I just remember thinking, “I really can transition and live my life authentically as a girl. I'm transgender. I'm not alone.” You know? I used to look in the mirror when I was little and wonder, “Am I the only person that feels like this? Is this okay?” So, I guess what I had to come to terms with was that I wasn’t alone, and I've been really lucky to have a supportive family. I socially transitioned when I was 10 years old and started dressing as female. I started going by Emily and used she/her pronouns.
LTA: You're pretty well known for being one of the youngest people to undergo gender reassignment surgery. You also started, as you noted in your answer, your social transition even earlier. Could you describe how you came to the huge decision to go through with the surgery, as a lot of trans people decide against it?
For me, I've known what I wanted since I was little, and I’ve known that I wanted gender reassignment surgery too. I've always just thought, “I want to have the surgery one day. I need to have the surgery when I'm old enough. For sure.” When I had surgery, I was thinking about how my whole life has been leading up to this moment. For me, it was pretty much the final step in completing myself. It felt like closing a chapter almost.
LTA: Logistically speaking, what was that process like? Were there any differences since you were completing it at a younger age?
I started taking hormone blockers when I was twelve, and I did the shot for that. At 12, I actually ended up getting the implant so I never went through male puberty. After that, I started taking hormones when I was 13, and I've gone to therapy since I was young. All of those factored into having the surgery. You need to have a history of working towards doing those. You need doctor's notes from your therapist, psychiatrist, etc. in order to do it. And that's just leading up to the process. I was honestly really lucky they got me in, but some people have to be on a waiting list for a long time to even get a consultation. Luckily since my friend Jazz Jennings had surgery with the same surgeon, I was able to get in contact with him better. And he told me he understood me and that I could get it done before my senior year, so I did. I honestly got really lucky to be able to have it at 17.
“Screw what everybody thinks; this is about my life and my happiness.”
– EMILY TRESSA
LTA: You mentioned how supportive your family was. How did your extended family along with just the people around you initially react to this decision?
My family has kind of always just gone along with it because they see what makes me happy. I remember what my grandmother would say when she saw my mom buy me Barbies and other feminine things: "Why are you getting those for him? I don't get it." My parents actually went on a trip once so my grandparents watched me. While I was staying with them, my grandma actually took me to ToysRUs. Once she saw my face in the Barbie aisle, she said to my mom, "Linda, I totally get it." I also have two older brothers, and they've been nothing but supportive. I remember they used to beat up their friends if they would say anything about me. I haven't had many issues. My grandparents and other relatives used to struggle to understand, but nowadays, they seem to understand a lot more.
LTA: I understand you must be excited to be able to be your full and true self, but have there been any costs to going through with this whole process at such a young age, especially when there's so much speculation about a teenager’s ability to make these big decisions?
Yeah, it's really difficult. Before I even decided to transition, I was really scared of what everyone would think. At some point, I just had an awakening and thought “Screw what everybody thinks this is about my life and my happiness.” And that's why I transitioned. With that said, there are a lot of costs to being trans, but I've done everything I can to be happy and spread a positive message. Dating as a trans woman is really hard. Sometimes it’s difficult just to be seen as a person. I feel like I'm seen as a label, and I hate that. I just want people to be able to get to know me without putting me in a box.
LTA: Is that tension something you experience online? You have also heavily documented your life as a trans woman through your social media platforms, namely your YouTube channel. How did having this attention from your identity affect your life, especially during high school?
What's actually been so great is I received more positive feedback from all of my videos! People will comment things like “Wow, I'm so happy for you” and stuff like that. Before I had my surgery, I hadn't seen many videos really going into depth about everything, so I wanted to post mine to help people who are going to be going through surgery, or people who don't really understand it. I get messages from trans girls all the time who tell me that they’re having surgery soon and that watching your videos has been helpful for them. They are why I did those videos. I want to help people, and I want to educate everyone.
“Your journey and your story are your own.”
– EMILY TRESSA
LTA: Did you feel any responsibility to the trans community to put your life and your journey on a public stage?
Yeah, I've been so open about my journey in my life because when I look back at how I felt when I was younger, I thought I was alone. I don't want anybody to feel like that, you know? This is my story, and if it helps you, that's all I wanted to do.
LTA: Do you have any advice for other trans youth that might be considering making a major decision like this or looking to discuss the option with their families?
I would say there's no specific way to be trans. Everyone's journey is different, and I want people to know that there's no perfect way to transition. There is no perfect image of being trans. Your journey and your story are your own. I think sometimes when people transition, they think that there's a specific guide book or guideline, but there isn't. It's your story. It's your life.
LTA: As an LGBTQ+ teenager living in modern America and taking part in the modern gay rights movement, what would you like to see change or grow in the LGBTQ+ community?
I’d say as a trans teen taking part in the LGBTQ+ rights movement, I would like to see my community lifting each other up always. Sometimes I see gay or bisexual people who are transphobic, and that’s something I don’t understand. I know we are all grouped into one acronym that is supposed to represent an array of sexualities and gender identities, but the struggles we all face are similar at their core. I also want to see people in my community know their history about things such as stonewall and how the gay rights movement that started at stonewall was started by a transgender woman. Trans women have paved the way, and I wish that everyone that is LGBTQ+ could come together because of our similarities, not differences. These are some of the things I’ve noticed, but personally I’d say the LGBTQ+ community is doing really well. I want more to change with how my community is perceived by cis and straight individuals more than within my community.
LTA: Do you have anything else to add?
My song came out on April 3rd. It's called "All The Way," and it's a feature on my friend, Natalie Blake’s, song. She's also trans. Please go listen to it!
Make sure to also check out Emily’s YouTube and Instagram!
Interviewed by Adelaide Graham
Written by Maureena Murphy
Edited by Morgan Lee
May 2020